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Apple Crisp is an art form. The apples must be subtly sweet and spiced evenly. The ratio of crumble to apples must be so that the Crisp can crumble into the soft apples and balance the fruit with buttery crunch without being overly soggy or dry. Apple Crisp must be simple and flavorful. Martha Stewart’s apple crisp has nothing on mine.
I don’t have any time in my life for shitty apple crisp. Neither should you.
Apple Crisp for Apple Crisp Snobs
8-10 Apples picked out of your dad’s back yard. (Oh, you don’t have an apple tree? Huh.)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/2 tsp Ginger
1/4 tsp Nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
(plus 2 Tablespoons)
1.5 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup salted butter
Take those apples and skin them. Slice them up. Yes, it’s work. You will live. (Don’t buy those pre-sliced apples in a bag. It’s offensive.). Throw them in a bowl.
Toss in 1/2 cup sugar, 2 Tablespoons flour, and spices. Mix it good.
Dump in a pie dish or 9×9 pan.
Put the rest of the dry ingredients in a bowl. Cut the butter and toss it in there too. Now, roll up your sleeves. Shit is about to get serious. Take that butter and smush it into that dry mixture. Mmm. Yeah, like that. Really work it in there. You will know it’s done when everything is buttery and crumbly and your kids start shoving in their face in fistfuls.
Spread crumble over apples.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 min, until apples are soft, the crisp is browned, and caramelly stuff is bubbling around the edges.
Serve with vanilla ice cream or fresh whipped cream.