Some White Lady’s Version of Peruvian Roast Chicken.

You guys, I can roast a chicken.  Ask anyone who has had my chicken.  It’s good.  Like, really good.  I’m not bragging.  I’m just stating a FACT.

Everyone’s favorite time of the year is upon us.  When the days grow shorter and the air grows chilly and everyone starts looking forward to those familiar sights and smells and feelings of that very special time of year.  That’s right, you know what I’m talking about…ROAST CHICKEN SEASON!

I make roast chicken different ways, but this is my absolute favorite way to prepare a bird.  The sauce is a perfect balance of creamy, spicy, and fresh.  The chicken is moist and delicious.  The potatoes soak up all that beautiful fat and flavor.  It’s good.

I originally found this recipe on epicurious and have made it my own.  I’m white and I’ve never been to Peru.  I’ve never had actual Peruvian Roast Chicken.  So I don’t know if this recipe is authentic, but it’s fucking good.

 

Some White Lady’s Version of Peruvian Roast Chicken

1 Roasting Chicken.  Get a big one.

RED Potatoes.  (Small ones, or quartered larger ones.  Whatever will fill the pan around the chicken. )

Cumin

Paperika

Oregano

2 generous pinches salt

Black Pepper

2 Tablespoons Oil- I prefer safflower, grapeseed, or any other high heat- neutral flavor oil.

Juice of 1 lime

Sauce To Make Your Life Better

1 bunch fresh Cilantro

juice of 1 lime

4-5 cloves garlic

1 jalapeno

1 pinch salt

1/2 cup mayo

 

To make the chicken, take that lady out of the bag.  Don’t bother rinsing her, that’s gross. Plop her down in a roasting dish, the kind you use for lasagna or whatever.  Surround her in a nest of potatoes.  Season the chicken and potatoes generously with the spices, don’t be afraid of that flavor.  Sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper.  Drizzle oil and lime juice over everything.  Now, get your hands nice and clean and GIVE THAT LADY A MASSAGE.  That’s right, rub those beautiful spices all over her glorious, glistening skin.  Really get in there.  If this freaks you out, you shouldn’t be eating meat.  It’s a dead animal and you are eating it.  Deal with that.  Good, all set.

Wash your hands.  With soap.

Put that bird in a pre-heated 415 degree oven.  Now, just let her cook.  Around 1 hour 15 minutes, or until the juices in her body cavity are clear and you can easily jiggle her legs. The spices might blacken a bit on the skin, but it’s ok. It’s fine I tell you.

While the chicken is cooking, make that sauce.  Now, this sauce MAKES this recipe.  I’m OBSESSED with this sauce.  Put the cilantro, jalapeños, lime juice, garlic, and salt in a blender or process with a stick blender until it turns to a sauce.  Add the mayo and process it more.  It might be a bit thin, it’s fine.  Pour into a serving bowl and stick it in the fridge until later.

When that chicken is done, take it out of the oven.  Let her rest. REST, DAMNIT.  She has worked HARD for you and she deserves at least 15 minutes to soak up her juices before you tear into her like a god damned animal.

Has she rested?  Lets do this.

Carve up that bird.  Cut off the legs at the hip joint next to the body.  Slice up that breast.  Yes.  This is the reality of meat and if you are going to eat it you are going to get COMFORTABLE with it.

Get your chicken and potatoes all nestled together on a plate and spoon a generous amount of sauce over.  Stick some salad in there too.  You are being healthy.  Good for you.

Time to eat.  Mmmmm.  It’s amazing, right?  Right.